Christmas Eve with Caga Tio (Uncle Shit)
The season has been cold but festive.
And it’s been quite eventful.
To end the year on a fun note, I made the mistake that one should never make and forgot to load my blood pressure pills into my weekly pillboxes. Since I had loaded my others pills, I was taking daily meds while unaware of my error. This resulted in wildly fluctuating, skyrocketing blood pressure (between 178 and 215) which landed me in the hospital twice. Five days in, I discovered my error and started up the medication again, but this is not something from which one recovers quickly.
So, I had three weeks of migraines, blurred vision, major forgetfulness, hallucinations (from the migraines) and other symptoms, but no visible damage, which ultimately led to a change in medications. I’m stabilizing now, finally, but still suffering from emotional volatility and dumb mistakes (misreading clocks, dizziness) which, thankfully, are diminishing. Imagine this kind of disorientation while fighting in another language with an insurance company and hospital about unpaid bills.
I think I need a hug.
The one good outcome is that I found a good cardiologist here. And as soon as they let me leave the hospital, I put all negotiations on hold to give myself time to recover.
If this nonsense with the meds had to happen, I’m glad it was at the end of the year. I’ve been resting and reading a lot, and I’ve been able to put off anything stressful for a few weeks. I thought I was going to start conversation classes in Catalan, but they filled up quickly, and I’ll have to wait until April. Fine.
My one holiday celebration was a Christmas Eve dinner at a friend’s place. The food was lovely and the company pleasant. The downside was that the host, in order to please his younger lover, a nursery schoolteacher, allowed him to determine the entertainment. We played Caga Tio, which means Uncle Shit, which Catalonian children play on Christmas. This pagan solstice ritual includes dressing up a log, feeding it and beating it with a stick until it shits out candies.
I couldn’t make this stuff up.
While not as common as it once was, this is played by young children in groups and at home with their families. I’m doubtful that it was intended for elderly men hoping to maintain a modicum of dignity while enjoying themselves. I’ve always maintained that life, after a certain point, is just a series of humiliations; I can now rest my case. And, yes, they recorded it and can now blackmail me into doing whatever they want. And, no, you will never see it.
I watched an amazing stand-up comic on HBO. His name is Drew Michaels, and he’s about as dark and smart as they come. I also watched the latest Superman movie which had, to my surprise, a large live sign-language interpreter in the bottom right part of the screen. I was confused because 1) it was a major distraction throughout the movie, and 2) I thought that’s what closed captions were for. I wondered what percentage of the HBO Max audience can neither hear nor read. I’m not being snarky here… I just don’t get it.
A few of you have mentioned visiting me in 2026; I’d be delighted to see you. I’ve had only one guest since moving here. Should you decide to come to any other nearby European country, please let me know. I’d appreciate having some items delivered which cost me $20 in the states as opposed to $1500 in Spain.
Finally, a bit of numerology: 2025 has been the ninth year of a nine-year cycle, which means a time of major transformation and symbolic death (of systems, societal trends and cultural norms). 2026 is the first year of the next cycle, which means rebirth, new beginnings and hints of impending changes. It will be a good year to make or start planning changes. We also each have our own personal years, and mine will be an eight year, which is a year of power and achieving goals. About f-king time.
May 2026 be a good year for you with more luck and less stress. And don’t forget to load your medications.
Bye
Caga Tió
“The form of Caga Tió found in many Catalan homes during the holiday season is a hollow log about 30 cm long. Recently, the Tió has come to stand up on two or four stick legs with a broad smiling face painted on its higher end, enhanced by a red sock hat (a miniature of the traditional barretina) and often a three-dimensional nose. Those accessories have been added only in recent times, altering the more traditional and rough natural appearance of a piece of wood.
Beginning with the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (December 8), one gives the tió a little bit to “eat” every night and usually covers him with a blanket so that he will not be cold. The story goes that in the days preceding Christmas, children must take good care of the log, keeping it warm and feeding it, so that it will defecate presents on Christmas Day or Eve.”
The song lyrics while beating the tio:
| Catalan
Caga tió, caga turro, avellanes i torró, |
English
Shit, tió, hazelnuts and nougats, |
If you’re worried about my hallucinating this, feel free to Google Caga Tio.