Weirder and Weirder

This week is a big vacation week in Costa Rica. I’m not sure why, since July 4th is a distinctly US holiday; but the schools and universities close for a week or two, and everybody leaves town.

I kind of like it.

There are not a lot of changes in my quiet life, but I have had a couple of bizarre experiences.

First of all, and, no, this is not going to get graphic, but several months back, I received an email which began with a friendly tone and then informed me that the author had captured video of me pleasuring myself while visiting online porn sites. He claimed also to have downloaded a copy of my contact list, and he would send the naughty videos to everyone on the list. Unless, of course, I deposited a certain sum to his bitcoin account which, according to him, was very reasonable.

Where to begin….

I don’t visit porn sites. I’ve never been a fan of watching other people having fun when I’m not.

I also don’t “pleasure myself” sitting at my desk. That seems rather inappropriate. I’m an old-fashioned type of guy who uses his office and computer for work and emails.

Third, as a veteran of the sexual liberation movement, I doubt any of my friends would be unduly shocked if confronted with me “badgering the witness,” “choking the chicken” or “giving it a tug.” And, since most of my friends are senior citizens like me, they’d probably send me an attaboy for performing any sort of sexual act at all.

So, cut to last month:

I received yet another threatening email, from a different source, accusing me of the same behavior and offering me the same opportunity for a reasonable fee. I was wondering if I should respond with a counteroffer, as in “Why don’t you go f-k yourself,” when I noticed that the greeting was addressed to QiJian, my deceased shar pei. Wow! The things you can learn about those you think you knew.

Technology Update: As I have often mentioned, I am tortured by technology. However, I still insist on buying and using it. I bought security cameras for my house, basically so I can check on it when I’m away. This turned out to be useful the last time I was in the US. I received notification on my cellphone that there was movement and/or sound upstairs. My smoke alarm had gone off, but I could see in real time that there was no fire or smoke. I simply called my neighbors and apologized for the noise.

I have two outside cameras, one if front and one on my back patio, which I leave on even when I’m home. Yesterday morning, when I got up, I saw that my patio camera had been triggered. When I played the video, I saw a white figure, not quite human, moving back and forth in front of the camera. It looked like on of those floppy balloon guys that I see in front of car dealerships. So I decided that I had a ghost. FYI: Escazu, the town in which I live, is also known as the City of Witches.

A NOTE: Since there is no way anyone could access the camera without first crossing the patio, I’m sure it was a moth or bird; but a ghost seems so much more intriguing.

So, Happy 4th! And I hope this summer is fun and not too hot for you. Hasta la proxima ves. (Until the next time).